Testimonials

Writing about him, about our life and finally, about his death literally saved me...Eventually I was able to let him rest and begin living again…

S.Miller

I wish we would've had this book in the months after my dad died. It would've helped the whole family to remember so many things we didn't want to ever forget.

Rosemary Gepner

Using the power of the written word, this book gently transforms grief into precious memories, ultimately leading the bereaved to a place of serenity and acceptance.

Alice A. Thieman, PhD

Reviewed By Bill Findley for Boomer Times, Boca Raton, FL

Memories of You...invites a grieving soul through an imaginative process by preser ving memories toward a happier future. It is a poignant and suppor tive book that uses the power of words to transform and heal following the death of a loved one.

This gentle guide leads the bereaved to become the biographer of their loved one, resulting in a volume of recorded memories that families will treasure forever. Containing both practical and legal information as well as inviting the reader to reflect on life, loss and healing, this book is useful for individuals, families and therapists in individual or group settings.

Each of the authors brings a unique perspective to their book which is evident as you read through the “garden” of suggestions and experiences. As an attorney, William Ladewig uses his experience to explain to the reader critical information necessar y to acknowledge for healing. Paula Dáil, a playwright and novelist has a lot of experience working with Hospice so she guides the readers in the more sensitive areas of loss and realization of finality.

The book has a unique design and layout that provides the space for the survivor to bring back memories, good and bad, to provide a platform for dealing with the absence. The first page of the book says: This Book Is a Reflection of Someone Special Who Came into My Life and Is Dedicated to Remembering. It guides the reader through the most helpful steps to come to grips with the beauty and the realities of death. Its format, when completed by the bereaved, is attractive enough to become an heirloom for future generations.

I especially appreciated the discussion about scents and smells that were part of the deceased life...Old Spice, lavender plants and tea and other small but special parts of life shared with your loved ones. The things your beloved laughed and cried about...Certain foods that you associated with this person.

My wife, Anita, read some of the poems and especially loved the Jewish prayer for the deceased. Here are a few lines that she felt were absolutely priceless.

WE REMEMBER THEM...

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,

We remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,

We remember them.

In the rebir th of spring,

We remember them...

The authors are offering a treasure of knowledge and sensitivity in a beautiful document ready for the healing process to begin and end.

Radio Interview

Click here to listen to interview with authors

Healing Memories By JUDITH BERGER As appeared in Wisconsin Woman of Greater Milwaukee vol.11 No.7 July 2010

William Ladewig and Paula Dáil, a Menomonee Falls couple have written a book entitled Memories of You: A Healing Journey Through the Garden of Grief.

Yes, countless books about death, dying and grieving have been published, but Memories of You enlists the reader as biographer and engages the grief process that is measured by one’s own timeline. It is a process that enriches the present by remembering the past. “We are a society that asks us to grieve and move on. Other cultures don’t do that. They figure out ways to integrate the loss into their lives,” Dáil says.

Although our physical bodies die, our lives live on in those who remember. Historians have been capturing and recording the lives of famous men and women throughout time, giving us some insights into our collective past. It seems natural that we would do the same for those most important to us – parents, spouses, siblings, best friends. Unfortunately, we don’t because we don’t know where or how to start. It is not only healing and helpful to remember and record, but it gives those who come after us invaluable insight and a sense of connection, Ladewig says.

With contributions from grief therapists and those who have experienced loss, Ladewig and Dáil have constructer prompts throughout the book to help capture memories. Structured as a workbook or journal, it allows the reader to create a biography of a loved one through “refreshed recollection,” Ladewig says. “You’ll notice the older you get, the more difficult it is to pass on memories.” He says many memories of his mother come from conversations with his sisters that spur his own recollections. “Talking about my mother and putting words to paper helped to understand her place in the family – what she was like and how she enriched my life.”

At 14, Ladewig lost his mother, and an entire week passed before he allowed himself to cry. “At that point I had realized how much I had lost,” he says. Although the book was always in him, it wasn’t until seven or eight years ago that he began to write it. “My son had just moved to Washington DC and my father had passed away years earlier…”

Ladewig put the “work in progress” away only to ask his wife of less than a year to collaborate on finishing the book. “We worked on it for about six or seven months – off and on. It takes time, research and reflection to write something like this,” Dáil says.

Dáil, who holds a PhD in sociology and community resource development and is a novelist and playwright, says grief can define your life. “There is more to grief than just the loss. It depends on the relationship. We can grieve the death of someone we don’t even know. There are so many varying beliefs about dying. Some believe that life is an infinite process; some believe in Heaven and the hereafter. Whatever your belief, loss is painful.”

Memories of You engages he reader in a process, but Ladewig says you should make it your own. There are places in the book to include personal items such as photos or a favorite recipe written in the loved one’s handwriting.

“It allows you to create a verbal portrait. It uses the transformative power of words to help the person grieve well and to find a peace that’s good,” Dáil says. The book helps readers to focus their reflections, both the good and the bad, she says.

Captured memories of one who has passed on can be cathartic, but Ladewig sees it more as a gift. “This book is so valuable because it allows the one who is writing the memories to put their arms around their memories and pass on those reflections and recollections to the next generation.”

Dáil also experienced profound grief in her early thirties. “I lost someone who was very dear to me. It was sudden and it changed my life.” Dáil admits all life experiences change us, but it is up to us how the experience will affect us.